I found myself wondering just how deadly the seven sins are, so I slept all morning in a tub of rice pudding before calling my friend Danny to send his girlfriend over. She was a fine looking woman and I'd always been jealous of Danny. When she said his name while we were fucking on a bacon mattress, I got pretty angry and punched her in the boob. I felt a little better when she went to shower and I used her credit card to order a hooker while doing origami with a wad of twenties I stole from her purse. When she came back, me and the hooker were sitting in the pudding playing with little green boats made of dollar bills. She started to cry. I flipped her off, slapped the hooker with my junk and went back to sleep. All in all, I was pretty damn proud of myself.